“Now I believe that one must have faith in himself and live with the choices he takes. We all have the ability to take choices and make it right.”
As I stood looking at myself in the mirror, I could see no significant changes. I still seemed to be the nervous boy who had taken JEE a year ago. And yet, somehow, it didn’t feel like a year. And it didn’t feel the same. College had shaped me in ways beyond my own comprehension.
What were those changes?
To begin with, I had certain expectations of college and college life just like everyone else. When I realized it was not up to the mark, I decided against whining about it and utilized all the opportunities that came my way.
Secondly, on observing my peers closely, I deduced that most of them had completely lost sense of direction. They failed to recollect what kind of practices had brought them to BITS. Once again it was up to me to steer myself in the right direction. This was only the beginning, and not the end. So I had to keep my guard up and continue working the way I used to. I believed in the adage- ‘work hard, play hard’. I just could not come to terms with ‘BST’ and the ‘lite’ attitude that was prevalent around me. I never wanted to be in their shoes as I knew that bouncing back would be a herculean task, the fear of failure kept me from deviating from my goals. When faced with situations that conflicted with my goals, I knew what I had to do. Sacrifices were necessary and habits had to be established.
Though being ‘average’ was considered to be cool, I always had aspirations of becoming ‘The Popular Guy’ – an all-rounder with a multi-dimensional personality. But I soon realized that others’ perception of me did not matter as much as my opinions about myself. Therefore climbing the popularity ladder was not worth it. I definitely had respect for people who achieved what I had sought to achieve. I always tried to learn rather than being envious of them.
Speaking of envy, I saw people who would go to great lengths to reach the top. Their sole objective was to leverage others’ weaknesses to propel themselves forward. As a result many friends turned into foes. In contrast, I believed in inclusiveness and tried to lend a helping hand, as I became better. It was best that I rise on my own accord rather than using my friends’ shortcomings to do so.
I learnt not to be pessimistic, when it felt like I was at the rock bottom of my student life. I started doubting myself and my abilities. I questioned myself if I had taken the right branch and made the right choices. But was it right to have so much of self-doubt? It is not uncommon to question oneself in such a manner, but the answers to these questions are often disheartening when the mind is in a pensive mood. Now I believe that one must have faith in himself and live with the choices he takes. We all have the ability to take choices and make it right. One must never think that he is not good enough.
I asked myself- ‘Is getting to the top as tough as it is portrayed to be?’. Such questions came at a time when the results I obtained were disproportionate to the effort I put in. I could have accepted that it was indeed unreachable and moved on. But realization struck me, all thanks to the 80-20 rule. I had to put in 80 per cent of effort to travel the last 20 per cent of my journey.
Hence I learnt the art of introspection and adaptation which helped me identify my weaknesses.
The whole year had been a roller coaster journey and I had to make some really tough choices. There was surely an array of unfulfilled dreams and desires. Then again I thought that I had 3 more years to become the best.
Cover Designed By Anshuman Das
Edited By Adarsh Salagame
Article Written By Shreyas Ravishankar