0200 Hours Indian Standard Time.
BITS Pilani Hyderabad Campus, Vyas Bhavan, Basement.
Dude and Bro (Names changed) are about to reveal a conspiracy theory that could shake the very foundations of the world.
Dude: The moon. That mysterious heavenly body in the sky.
Bro: Actually, it’s not that mysterious. We know a lot about it. For instance, we know it was formed about 4.51 billion years ago, and its surface is made up of silica, alumina, lime…-
Dude: Shut up. It’s mysterious.
So, as I was saying… The moon. That mysterious heavenly body in the sky. We only ever see one side of it. Who knows what lies on the other side. The Dark Side.
Conspiracy theorists claim that there lie alien bases on the dark side of the moon. That astronauts and NASA have made contact with them. However, that is just meaningless speculation. On the dark side of the moon, there, in fact, lies a portal. A portal to another dimension. A parallel dimension. A dimension that exists parallelly to ours. A dimension that is similar to ours but yet very different. At the same time.
Bro: Yeah, I think they get what parallel dimension means. And seriously? A portal on the moon? The alien bases story is more believable. Soon, you’re going to be telling me Rick and Morty is a documentary, not just a TV Show.
Dude: String theory, Quantum physics, General Theory of Relativity, Speed of light, Wormhole, Black hole, Radiation.
Damn! You just got Scienced, bee-otch!
Bro: What? Those are just a bunch of words. How many of those do you even know the meaning of.
Dude: Don’t be a sore loser. Now, I’m telling this story, so shut up.
Where was I? Ah yes. The parallel dimension. It’s a dark and shady place. Take this campus for example.
The night is dark and full of terrors. The campus comes alive at night. There is screaming in the hostels, fiendish noises coming from behind locked doors, the people never seem to sleep. The dustbins are filled to the brim with god knows what, remnants of some dark night time practices.
Bro: Umm…. You’re just describing our campus. As it really is.
Dude: What? That’s not… ok. I see what you mean. But what are the noises, then?
Bro: Honey Singh songs.
Dude: Oh. Ok. Makes sense. But this dark dimension has beasts so vicious and vile with hunger in their eyes, wanting only to rip your gut out.
Bro: Those are just the dogs on our campus.
Dude: The dogs on our campus are so cute and gentle! They’re not vicious beasts.
Bro: I know some girls that would beg to differ.
Dude: But in the dark dimension, the food is-
Bro: Go on…. What exactly is the food?
Dude: The Road Not Taken. They say there are creatures in the shadows there doing all kinds of unspeakable things. It’s a place best avoided unless you are one of them.
Bro: Do I have to spell it out for you?
Dude: …… No.
But, the dark dimension is not a clean and fresh place. It reeks of death and decay.
Bro: You mean like that smell from behind Mess 1?
Dude: Yeah exactl- Oh. Right.
The dark dimension is a very dangerous place. There are lakes of lava and explosions.
*Distant boom, window rattles*
Dude: ….. ok, but the Lakes of Lava. That makes it hot as the devil’s furnace.
Bro: *Wiping sweat* Must be a pretty cool place, then.
Dude: Do you realize what this means?
Dude: We are in the dark dimension, and the portal actually leads to the light dimension.
Bro: I think that’s enough brownies for you.
Bro and Dude (Names changed) died trying to spread this horrifying message. Share this article in their honor. Spread the word.
Bro: Ok, you don’t need anything to wash it down either. That’s enough for you.
Dude: Oh thank God it’s over. That article was……… It looks like he spent all of twenty minutes on it.
Bro: Well, he did, because there was some mix up with the issue, but at least he could’ve given us better names
Dude: He’s not really that original, just bear with it.
Bro: He tried to name my mom Broette what do you expect.
Dude: That’s not even the worst part, he almost paired me up with this girl named Dudette. She’s into Twilight books and apples. I can’t even. She’s been talking about becoming a full blown vampire and putting a love curse on me.
Bro: Woah, dude that’s deep.
Dude: Did I mention that the author also gave us extremely superficial personalities?
Bro: I don’t know bro, I’m only this deep when I’m on vodka.
Dude: Oh right, that’s another thing the author made you. An alcoholic.
*Dude passes horse milk to Bro*
Dude: Here, drink this, the Dalai Lama cured Russia of vodka with this drink.
Bro: What is that? Milk?
Dude: Its not just regular milk, its horse milk.
Bro: How did you even get it out of the horse? Where did you even get a horse on campus?
Dude: I have…… connections.
Bro: Connections? Really? What kind?
Dude: Don’t insult my horse, his name is Trotty.
Dude: Your mom’s name is Broette, your name is Bro, you really want to judge Trotty?
Cover designed by Krishna Teja
Article by Adarsh Salagame