The Sorority Syndrome

Birds of the same feather X-chromosome flock together

Life comes with a lot of surprises. Sure. But this one ain’t a surprise at all. Every batch of every college there ever is, was and has been, has seen them, talked about them, has been talked about by them and has definitely noticed them. It’s a stereotype that has been passed down through generations of generations. Our mothers call them ‘the kitty party’, How I Met Your Mother calls ‘em ‘the Woo girls’, and every university ever calls ‘em the sorority girls.

If Freud had ever moved on from psychoanalysing the relationship with the (your?) mother, he would have probably talked about this strong female relationship- a sisterhood- that one notices in girl gangs. Feminists (pseudo-feminists too!) would agree that you can’t stamp women into categories, sure, but the thing about stereotypes is that you can’t deny that some characteristics are familiar even if you don’t necessarily agree with all of them.

So we bring to you: The Sorority Syndrome. Studies are yet to determine if the sorority syndrome is observed in people directly bitten by a bug, or a virus, if it’s passed down through generations via genes or if it is a behavioural aspect of the female which, god forbid, can’t be changed at all. We list down a few symptoms that you should look out for to detect the sorority syndrome. And if, to your utter dismay, the following symptoms remind you an eerie lot of someone familiar, someone you see every day after you wake up and stare into the bathroom mirror, a someone who is… you- fear not, because it’s stuck in the second X chromosome 😉 and we’re here to play doctor.

Sisters in secrecy
The first and most evident symptom would be the constant need to be in touch and to be informed. Who bought a new outfit? Who hasn’t changed their Facebook dp in over a month? All topics are open to discussion. Is it not working out with Smelly Feet Nick? Have you snogged someone new? Well, you most DEFINITELY should update your sisters-by-bond. Everybody has secrets but only few know them all. And shared secrets are better secrets, aren’t they?

Once you’ve ditched, you shall not be missed. This can be further confirmed by an unhealthy amount of jealousy that you are most likely to exhibit when you see the cute Instagram picture from the time you couldn’t join them for a casual outing.

[2 months later…]

“I don’t understand why you’re acting different these days…”

“Oh you don’t know? You STILL don’t know? Remember that time you guys conveniently forgot me and… [breaks down into tears]…and…ate? How could you do that without me?!”

Do not let your fellow girlfriend visit the washroom alone. EVER. You will hear all about it when she’s drunk. There may be tears. Lots of tears.

Oh, how we love playing doctor.

Don’t be offended just yet. We’re only getting started. Renowned sororitorist Dr.Chloe McHoe points out that such gangs seem to thrive on honesty. Except when your sister looks fat in that new outfit. Then never tell her. NEVER.

Sisters never forget. <insert horror movie theme>

Birthdays are a big deal Birthday coming up? Expect a collage for your wall, a retrica picture on your fb wall, a gift to go with a dress you wore for prom, and lots of flattery to make your ego run rounds for the next year. If only you had more birthdays in a year, you could chill out and enjoy the pomposity.

Until a sister’s birthday comes up…

“This 5ft by 5ft collage of her selfies will never be ready by midnight. Ohmigodohmigodohmigod.”

Always talk about your feelings. Midnight chats, going crazy, having fun is not all that sorority girls do. The occasional fight about what you did or what you never bother to do becomes the highlight of 2am conversations.

“I just feel like you’re never there for me, you know?”

“Uh, excuse me, I thought this was about me talking about my feelings?”

“Stfu and listen to me, I’m getting there.  We just think that you never let yourself be vulnerable around us.”

“You guys totes need to get boyfriends.”

Here are some more that can help you spot the sorority:

1. These ladies tend to be popular because sometimes the looks of the group compensates for the looks of a single sister. Result: Status of individual elevated. (Read: Cheerleader effect. Barney Stinson, FTW)

2. Always get the whole team to analyse when faced with a tricky text message. Do keep in mind that your group chat is your help and support system.

3. You’ve most definitely put your money on who’s going to get married first(and last).

4. All big(and small) moments are celebrated through the medium of awkward dancing.

5. Sisters always like each other’s profile pictures. Also, sisters never post ugly photos of each other.

Friendships in colleges definitely have their ups and downs. But the best thing about your girlfriends is that you can leave your IQ on the floor and dance to Honey Singh, participate in a month‐long fight and still get back to acting like idiots together. Sisters may fight, sisters may cry, but on the bright side, it’s not due to them annoying misters.

Ovaries before brovaries, ftw.

<Goes back to watching Mean girls 2. *phone beeps*

“Omg you girls have to hear this…”>

 -Ruthvi Reddy and Meghana Yerabati


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