Kiss of Love

Love is in the air. By ‘air’, I mean social media; and by ‘love’ I mean protests against moral policing resulting in the arrest of a massive crowd of civilians.

Most of you must have heard about the wait-who-are-you-how’d-you-get-in-here-wait-no-KzyhahalljALKtk… Whoops, give me a minute to fend off the preservers of culture who were smashing my head into the keyboard.

Whew, that was close. They thought I was writing about the Kiss of Love. Managed to convince them it was about Kish of Loaf. So the Kish of Loaf campaign originated in my home state of Kerala, as an aftermath of BJP activists pelting and thrashing a café in Calicut. Apparently the café was promoting immoral activities such as drug use (later found to be wrong) and even worse, allowing girls and boys to sit in the same space together! So a bunch of liberalists decided to have a kiss off in Marine Drive, Kochi to protest against moral policing. The result? Police (not the moral kind) arresting over 70 people, some of them who were kissing even in captivity. And an even larger number of anti-kissing protesters were arrested. In short, it was the police running around arresting and beating up a lot of people.

So this random beating up of people inspired much more arresting… Ehh I mean protesting, in different parts of India. IIT Bombay joined in the race, as well as colleges in Kolkata, to prove once and for all that public displays of affection are fine. Following the trend, the University of Hyderabad started its very own Kiss of Love campaign. Some of the students had cases registered against them for, you wouldn’t believe it, ACTUALLY KISSING. I mean, who would actually go the extent of KISSING in a campaign for kissing?

Let us pause for moment and think about the testosterone filled saffron workers of moral policing. What would we ever possibly do, without the BJP youth and Shiv Sena imposing the ‘Culture of India’ on us? Listen to 70 year old Ministers about their moral principles. Form large groups with a combined IQ of 100. Then with their significantly stronger right hands, thrash cafés, blacken couples’ faces and curb expression. Because that is what culture is all about. Now if all these single males had a girlfriend, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have to use that right hand so much.

All sarcasm aside, I’m not detested by the fact that people are protesting against public display of affection. But maybe if the people who were leading claims didn’t have two wives themselves, or if they weren’t just destroying things which other people can enjoy, maybe they would have a point. Maybe if they cops who are going to arrest you for holding a boy’s hand didn’t act like they were doing a favor by not taking you in, it would actually be meaningful. Isn’t it time India grew out of the ‘No PDA’ law?

"I think it's a brilliant idea. Now I can get my girlfriend to kiss me by saying it's for a noble cause, AND show my friends I got the first base without them calling me a liar." - Sumiran Mittal, Serial class bunker

“I think it’s a brilliant idea. Now I can get my girlfriend to kiss me by saying it’s for a noble cause, AND show my friends I got the first base without them calling me a liar.”
– Sumiran Mittal, Serial class bunker

"What? Girls are kissing on the street? Hamare area main kahaan ho raha hain?" - Adityaraj Phadnis, Master of the rapeface

“What? Girls are kissing on the street? Hamare area main kahaan ho raha hain?”
– Adityaraj Phadnis, Master of the rapeface

"I think these netas are behaving this way because the only kisses they got were from some huge aunties in their childhood. All that cheek pulling and "aunty ko kissy de" can be quite traumatising, and they're just trying to save everyone from that horror." - Shreyas Pandey, Mess food lover

“I think these netas are behaving this way because the only kisses they got were from some huge aunties in their childhood. All that cheek pulling and “aunty ko kissy de” can be quite traumatising, and they’re just trying to save everyone from that horror.”
– Shreyas Pandey, Mess food lover

P.S: Yes, S.294(a), IPC, says whoever, to the annoyance of others, does any obscene act in any public place, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three months, or with fine, or with both.

Gokul Nanda

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