Tried and Tested: Test 1 Woes

[The Daily Bitsian is not to be held responsible for any resurfacing of the mentioned viral trends that have brought down the CG of many an innocent student. This article intends to only revisit the past, and not, in any way, to give ideas on how to waste time before the upcoming Test-1 exams]

People have come and people have gone. It happens everytime. You’re still fawning over That-amazing-TV-show-maaan or That-awesome-Movie-I-tell-you, hung up about Such-a-sexy-game-yaar and, suddenly, T1s are almost here.

You think, ‘That’s okay. I’ll start studying two weeks before the tests start’. Before you know it, there’s just 5 days left. Sleep, wake up – Two more days to go. You freak out. ‘Duuude, it’s high time now, let’s get our act together. [long pause] But wait let me check my facebook first.’ Then an online fad- one of the many countless evils the internet presents- reveals itself on your news feed: A sensational no-brainer that traps you in a vicious cycle. You go around checking everybody else’s responses/ statuses and they do so too. And so we have the new internet rage, conveniently timed to appear right before the exams begin.

Congratulations, you are now officially a victim of mass hysteria. As any self-righteous citizen of the internet does in the face of the ever-so-important exams, this writer wondered who on god’s beautiful earth would try to distract people from the pursuit of knowledge. But the perpetrators- the ones who introduce these addictive activities- remain unknown and at large. Here is a compilation of all the vele things that we’ve done on campus during the last few exam seasons, in no particular order.  

  • Confessions Pages:

    Right before the T1s of the first semester of every academic year, a new confessions page is started by the first yearites. It gets hundreds of likes initially, people gossip about it, frown upon it, openly denounce it. Frankly, too much of a deal is made about something that posts confessions like the one given below: 1 The general trend observed includes (mostly fake) proposals, insults and other things that are bound to leave a sour after-taste in most people and definitely cause a lot of distraction if you’re planning on studying.

  • Ask.fm:

    Hey, here’s a trick question. What happens when you give an anonymous forum to a socially/ sexually- deprived college-going student? The answer, quite ironically, is: Ask.fm happens to you. And you do not want to find out what that means. This Q&A forum is nothing like Quora (God bless it). Contrary to what you might think, most of the questions are extremely boring, but people sign up for it anyway. This is best described by a man whose name rhymes with Schwagesh Schmopparthi. 2 He said it. Period.

  • Let-me-drown-in-a-Bucket-and-die Challenges

    Also known by multiple names such as ALS Ice bucket challenge, Book Bucket Challenge, Movie Bucket Challenge, Cartoon Bucket Challenge, and other yada yada boombastic names which, much to your annoyance, clutter up your wall and keep turning out of nowhere. These make you want to scream: STAHP IT ALREADY. Lesson learnt? Chain emails, messages, posts are best avoided. Of course, you could just sign out of your account and study. But who does that?

  • Follow the trippiest videos that you can lay your hands on

    There is never a better time to be philosophical than while watching videos of a genocidal llama with a top hat during the exams. For ten hours. No kidding. Or better yet; of self-proclaimed pop stars doing – yes, this, exactly: 3

  • Take the Zimbio’s XYZ quiz

    Are you a rock, paper or a scissor?Take this Zimbo quiz to find out!
    Does your name have 5 syllables in it? [X]
    Do you know the middle name of Johnny Bravo? []
    Bongs be like bongity bongity boing bop []
    BONUS.Have you ever counted the number of steps to the bathroom when you really have to pee? [X]
    Congratulations! Our expert analysts have certified you to be a rock. Now find out if you’re a star at the next Zimbio Quiz, and check if you’re a rockstar!

    4 The author finds the quizzes too ridiculous to elaborate on.

  • Digging up embarrassing pics of your frenemies

    If you thought that Confession pages were the bane of Facebook, think again. Remember that embarrassing photo of yours that you put up, way back in the 90s when you were in tenth grade and you really thought you were impressing that cute short-haired mallu chick?Well, your wingie is particularly bored in his preparation for T1, and he has just discovered that little gem. You might delete it, but before you know it, there are copies of it floating around on the internet and they will haunt you for the rest of your life. We present to you, exhibit A: 5

  • Reading TDB (Or so we’d like to believe)

    You’re reading this article during the exam season. ‘Nuff said.(Also, we openly pride ourselves on point no. 7. Humility is clearly not our best forte)

Although it is open to consideration what bomb might drop on us this time before the exams begin, popular opinion is that #fresherunderpressure might go viral and trend on Facebook. Coaching centers then try to leech off the Thermo and Mech questions posted by the first yearites of BPHC, to start a 4 year foundation course for getting a 10 CGPA in the BITS- Pilani University. While it is certainly hard to predict, in the light of the present scenario, it does not seem completely unlikely. With this ends our rendition of the prequel to every exam there ever is. We wish you luck for the exam season!

Meghana Yerabati

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